Traverse City Record-Eagle

Archive: Saturday

January 4, 2014

Rob Ford: Resolutions sometimes outpace ambitions

When I recall the New Year’s Resolutions that I’ve made over the years, they all pale when compared to the year that I resolved to become a male stripper.

It was during December 2006 that I resolved that the following year would be one where I really tried something new. And as fate had it, the Old Town Playhouse was having auditions in early January for their March 2007 production of “The Full Monty.”

I was like a moth to an open flame.

Remember, “The Full Monty” is a musical. And in its capacity as a musical, it follows that anyone auditioning for a part should be able to sing a song. Thankfully, 13 years as a Rotarian had welded a couple of songs into my brain and those were enough for me to get past that obstacle.

Also, “The Full Monty” is a musical about a bunch of middle-aged guys that become strippers.

Seriously, if you ever resolve to do something memorable, I suggest that you audition for the part of a middle-aged stripper in a community theater production.

I say that because I ultimately got a “non-stripping” part in the play, had lots of fun and met plenty of very interesting people with whom I remain friends with to this day. While those are fine and good, they’re a soft and cuddly puppy compared to the slobbering 100-pound pit bull of a memory the audition remains in my memory.

In case you’ve never auditioned for a theatrical role that involved taking one’s clothes off, allow me to give my recollection.

It was something like this: there was singing and a brief group dance exercise. There was also a little thing called “call backs”. This was when I was informed that I was being called back for the next night to read some lines from the play and take off most of my clothes.

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