Lately the boys have decided they hate all things girl-related. I suppose this is common, but when five boys team up, things can get rather dramatic and reactionary. They scream bloody murder when a Barbie commercial is on during their favorite testosterone-fueled cartoon. They poke each other in the ribs and say "You want one of those" in snotty tones while pointing at Bratz dolls at the store. They make grotesque faces and moan as if they're in pain while passing the lingerie section at the department store.

I woke up out of a deep sleep in the wee hours of the morning two weeks ago. I had felt something brush against my shoulder near my neck. It was pitch black and the glasses that alleviate my extreme near-sightedness weren't within reach so I sat up and squinted around to see what it had been. I saw a large, dark spot on the short sleeve of my pajama shirt.

If you want to impress someone but are low on cool tricks I recommend these homemade chips and dip. They are not only delicious but they're simple to make and they're good for you, too. I tested these out on a large gathering of 20 or so families and came home with empty bowls.

Spring has officially sprung! The peepers are out in force and singing along with the once-again babbling creek. My young men are not content just to climb every tree in which they can gain a foothold. They stand back with arms folded and examine the trees in the yard, of which there are a multitude, and debate their chances of success with assorted limbs and branches.

My husband and sons have a strange chromosomal bond with the remote control. They have even given said remote control a name: "The weapon of honor." This is a mystery to me. I certainly don't care even half as much as them about having the thing in my hands. They, on the other hand, find it odd that I don't mind standing up to change the channel by hand.

We are still under construction at our house. That means that, for the moment, all seven of us are sleeping in the same bedroom. We've also taken turns having the flu. There is never a convenient time to be ill. You can help lessen the inconvenience by having a well-stocked pantry and fridge and some easy foods to prepare on hand.

As a home-schooling parent, I am always looking for ways to turn everything that happens during the day into lessons. My efforts usually end up reinforcing my theory that I will never really get what goes on in my kids' heads. One day last week, Aidan yelped and tore into the kitchen, squeezing the daylights out of a bleeding finger. He had been on the baby's rocking chair -- a chair that is sized so small that an 8-year-old boy could sit on top of it while rocking simultaneously. This is what Aidan had done.

Is anyone else totally flabbergasted that we've already reached Christmas Eve and another year is all but gone?

I'd like to offer snapshot of this evening's dinner table.

It's hard to believe that another year is almost done. With all five kids having birthdays in the same three-month span as Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, we're in full party and costume mode around here.

I daily wonder whether I'm speaking the same language as my children. And I'm not speaking strictly metaphorically. Last week, Aidan flew through the front door and breathlessly informed me, "We're not doing what you told not. We're on a small hill. We're in a pocket place where we're smash rocking. I LOVE that place."

I spent hours upon hours on the phone both before and after my move trying to get all my address and utility changes made. My kids inevitably crave my attention when I'm on the phone. Having all five of them using me as a maypole or trampoline while trying to make all these phone calls was rather trying.