"He died after a long battle with a chronic illness," someone suggested as an obituary for my 46-year-old son, who committed suicide in a New Mexico desert last fall. It was his fifth attempt.
While it was essentially accurate, I found it so understated as to be offensive. As his mother and a mental health educator I must expose, not cover up, the invisible disease that took his life.
It is imperative for me to transform my grief over his chronic mental illness into a catalyst for change in the perception of brain disorders and addiction. Perhaps this will forge a legacy to his life.
Too few people remember when Emmet Till's mother in 1966 held a public viewing after her 15-year-old son was brutally murdered by racists in Mississippi. She boldly used her son's body as a show and tell of racial injustice.
I, too, am seeing red. Nobody wants to talk about suicide. The stigma, shame, and suffering are, for most, unspoken. My son was "a cutter." He repeatedly cut his wrists, deeper each time. Finally, he cut his throat.
My rage and heartbreak compel me to offer some gruesome statistics.
-- Each year, 37,000 Americans die by their own hand, one every 16 minutes.
-- Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in this country, the 3rd ranking killer of young people.
-- People 65 and older accounted for 16 percent of suicide deaths in 2004.
-- Of the nearly 16,000 violent deaths in 16 states, 56 percent were suicides.
Suicide is most often associated with mental illness, especially clinical depression, addictions and substance abuse. One in four families in the United States lives with a person who has mental illness and/or an addiction.
Because diseases of the brain reveal themselves as conduct, condemnation, incarceration or fearful silence often replace diagnosis and treatment.
Individuals with undiagnosed mental illness are more likely to end up homeless, indigent, in jail or in the morgue. Suicide is the ultimate conduct disorder.
Most people diagnosed with cancer, heart disease or diabetes jump at professional efforts to extend their lives. "I'm not sick and I don't need help," is a common proclamation of the "broken" brain.
We rarely hide the fact that a family member suffers from kidney failure or respiratory disease. We don't consider these moral failings. We spend millions on research to cure them. Yet we still treat biological diseases of the brain as if they were defects of willpower or character.
The good news is that national and statewide initiatives for suicide prevention are on the rise. Mental health education is increasing. Suicide rates are declining among some age groups.
We must all become educated to end the sensationalism, fear, isolation and stigma of mental illness.
For crisis intervention, evaluation and access to treatment, contact your community mental health agency. For family education and local resources, contact www.nami.org. To find hope and local recovery support groups check out www.dbsa.org. To fund mental illness research click on www.miraresearch.org.
About the author: Jacqueline Castine is the community education specialist at the Oakland County Community Mental Health Authority in Auburn Hills. By e-mail at: castinej@occmha.org
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