TRAVERSE CITY -- Single in the city?
Exploring the singles scene in Traverse City and its environs might require some travel, a little gumption and an open mind.
But make the effort and you'll find that there are other single souls out there looking, just like you.
"I think Traverse City, in general, if you are a single person, and you are just comfortable with living ... there's so much to do here," said Shelle Dirkse, 35.
It can be difficult to make connections here, especially if you don't know where to look, some said. A number of clubs, groups and local hang-outs offer chances to mix and maybe make a match.
"I just don't understand it. I've only been up here for almost a year now; it's a tough town to meet people," said Dave Ashley of Cedar.
Ashley helps out with a singles' group at the Church of the Nazarene in Traverse City. The group attracts people whose age generally ranges from 30 to 60; church membership is not required.
"Time is precious, and I'm not into the bar scene, so it was a way to just start meeting people," he said.
Dances in Traverse City and Houghton Lake are one place for singles to mingle. Char Danet of Traverse City organizes a dance that takes place once a month at Streeters Entertainment Center. Disc Jockey Bernadette Morley of Harrison holds a dance regularly in Houghton Lake that draws people from all over, including Traverse City, Kalkaska and Gaylord. Both events attract mostly middle-aged and older singles looking for a fun, friendly time.
Morley plays oldies, classic rock, waltzes and country music and said a number of singles have found a long-term two-step partner. Danet said the Traverse City dance once brought in up to 100 people, but attendance has lagged a bit lately. She suspects Internet distractions may be partly to blame.
"Everybody tells me... it's the computer," Danet said. "They say they sit there and do that, because they are getting more desperate."
It's not meant to be a "dating club," and Danet encourages people to give it a try instead of sitting at home.
Duane Larson of Cheboygan regularly makes the 200-mile round trip to Houghton Lake for the dance.
"It's a wonderful outlet. It's great therapy," he said. "At times (as) singles, it's kind of lonely, to be very honest with you. I look forward to the dances on the weekend."
And while couples have even met and married there, Larson said others have been "greatly disappointed" when they got their hopes up too high. He wouldn't make the long trip, however, if he didn't always have a good time.
A new group for those early in their careers could provide an outlet for younger people. Melissa Buchanan of Traverse City launched Traverse Area Young Professionals because she discovered it was difficult to meet others her age.
"The people from around here already know people, and so they are fine just knowing who they know, and those of us who have moved here are just left in limbo," she said.
Buchanan is married, but said the group, while not just for singles, will introduce locals from 18 to 35 to one another. She plans to schedule outings to the beach, boating or comedy nights.
"It seems like there is a very large generation of older people ... and there is us, but we are not connecting," she said. "I'm not sure what the issue is."
Rachel Kimbel is 23 and single. The Traverse City woman said she bumps into people she knows everywhere she goes. She found the key to creating a large social network is to be outgoing and to take the initiative.
"I am not opposed to a serious relationship. I am not necessarily looking for it. I kind of feel like, if it happens it happens," she said. "I have pretty high expectations, and I am not willing to settle for less than that."
Dirkse moved to Traverse City last summer and found people were friendly. The dating scene takes a little more effort, though. She joined clubs and sports leagues to meet people and is developing a solid group of friends here after spending a lot of time living in various places and moving around.
"I am trying to get my bearings... see what guys are about here," she said.
Local matchmaker Katie Lienhart offers a direct approach to finding a date. For a fee, clients use her company to identify other area singles. Lienhart gathers information about each client, whose average age is in the early to mid 50s.
"A lot of them want someone who looks like Vanna White, and I say, 'Oh come on. I'll try, but there's only one Vanna White," she said.
She picks people to connect based on answers to about 28 questions that ask about background, religion, appearance, children, outlook on marriage and hobbies. Customers come from Traverse City and surrounding counties. It's an alternative to online singles sites, and Lienhart said clients appreciate that.
"A lot of people lie on the Internet, and they don't like that. They like truthfulness," she said.
Denine Russell of Traverse City refused to go to the computer for a date because the men might be from anywhere -- or liars, she said. Russell had been in a years-long relationship. She moved to the area to recuperate after she was seriously injured in a fire. Put off by the bar scene, the 42-year-old turned to Lienhart's services and found a guy she clicked with.
"I wasn't real sure, but I knew I wanted to meet people somehow," she said. "At first I would go out to dinner with them, and then -- if you don't like them -- it's a long dinner."
Russell's potential Mr. Right was the seventh guy she met. For singles, finding romance or making friendships can require some persistence, venturing out of a comfort zone, joining a group or just putting on dancing shoes.
"Until it's the right one, well, you know, you just keep dancing," Larson said.
Print this story
E-mail this story
