So we're at a funeral.
The service is at a church, which I hadn't expected. While I had lost touch in recent years with the woman who had died, and had always assumed her to be spiritual, I'd never heard she belonged to or attended a church.
The minister opened by saying that he had gotten to know the woman in the last months of her life. He said that as she was ill and dying, they had some very deep talks and that she had come to some new beliefs.
It was a moving service, with a big screen flashing pictures of her in happy times. Family and friends paid tribute through music and words. And then the pastor came back to the podium.
He said a few things about her, then began talking about faith. His faith. And why other people should consider embracing his faith. And why they were missing the boat if they didn't at least give it some thought.
At first, it was fine. Then, it seemed to go on too long. I wondered what her family was thinking about it. Maybe they'd even discussed it earlier with the pastor and had expected it. Either way, after a while, it began to feel out of place. It seemed that it was no longer about her.
I wondered if other people were having similar thoughts. But we all sat politely, as people do. We were there to pay tribute to her, and if that meant hearing out this pastor as he extolled the virtues of his faith and church at great length, so be it.
Eventually, a few of those attending walked out. And then, someone went up to the podium and interrupted him, saying this wasn't what they had in mind and asking him to stop. We could all hear because it carried over his microphone.
At first, he was taken aback. Then he apologized. But then he kept talking, continuing to substantiate his earlier comments and resuming his original train of thought.
Later, I was curious to know what other people thought. A friend with a minister in her family said he told her most clergy make an effort not to "go rogue" at funerals.
One person I asked said, "Hey, it's a captive audience, why wouldn't he try to make a case for his church?"
But I disagreed. How much more mileage he could have gotten, I thought, by saying nothing at all. The very act of hosting the service, providing a place of comfort and warmth for her family and friends to gather in their grief, already said volumes.
Using the occasion of her funeral to make an exhaustive sales pitch detracted from that, I felt.
Shouldn't a funeral be about the person who died -- and those left behind?
Sure, maybe there's a place for a little public service announcement. No harm in that.
But an infomercial? No.
Kathy Gibbons can be reached via the Record-Eagle or at gibbonskath@yahoo.com.
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