BY KATHY GIBBONS
April 14, 2008 04:00 am When do you cross over, I wonder? When do you reach the point that you actually wish you qualified for the senior discount, rather than being put off when it's proffered before your time? I'm 52. I remember being about 38 and in a pizza shop one time with my husband and kids. A toddler in a child seat the next table over took one look at me and lunged my way, gleefully shrieking, "Grandma!" Of course, my group thought it was hilarious. Now it seems that kid is 15 and working in fast food. Because I go into a fast food location I don't typically frequent and order a Diet Coke. The clerk says it will be 70 cents. I know it's more, and point that out. "Oh, no," she says, "not with the senior discount." "But I don't qualify." "It's OK," she says, refusing to change it. A month later, I am there again. Same clerk, same order, same price. I point it out again; she says it's OK, like she's humoring me. I don't go there anymore. Then the other morning I stop at a different place. The clerk starts to name a lower price, then corrects herself, "I was going to give you the senior dis..., um, oh, not that I thought you..." After I left, I noticed I was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe, so maybe that was part of it. Then I thought nah, it was just another brush with the writing on the wall. Now, there is nothing wrong with being a senior. And I love bargains. No doubt, when the time comes, I will embrace the discount I have earned by living all these long -- some longer than others -- years. But not until it's time. And I don't want to rush it. Some companies do, though. Sometimes I see "Seniors 50 and older" and think, "Huh?" Personally, I prefer those that say "Seniors 65 and over." But I wonder if this is how it starts, with well-meaning clerks mistakenly jumping the gun here and there. Then knowing you're closer, maybe you begin to wistfully imagine qualifying for the lower prices in spite of yourself. And then, one day, you are there, happily paying the same price as the Children Under 12. I guess my message to clerks would be -- as in when you see someone who looks like she could be pregnant but you're not sure, maybe she has only put on some extra weight -- just don't bring it up. Wait until we ask. Which, in this economy, may be sooner rather than later. Or maybe what we need now is another kind of discount my generation can live with: The Baby Boomer Senior Discount, eligibility at age 80. Now, to me, that's a senior citizen.
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Kathy Gibbons