TRAVERSE CITY -- There's something really wrong -- yet at the same time irresistible -- about carnival food.
Maybe it's the candy-striped food trailers that lure us. Or maybe it's the raucous loudspeakers that call us in. More than likely, though, it's happy childhood memories that draw us back in line for those oil-drenched, sugar-saturated snacks.
As the National Cherry Festival wraps up and the county fairs start to rev up, it's time to dine "carny-style." Here's a round-up of the top five foods served at local events:
Corn dogs $3
No doubt, the king of the midway is the corn dog. Skewered on a stick for utensil-free dining, the corn dog offers busy carnival-goers a complete three-course meal -- a meat, a vegetable and plenty of grease.
To create a corn dog, a precooked, porky-pink hot dog is dredged through pancake-like batter. Then it's plunked into a vat of boiling oil until toasty brown.
There are two keys to achieving that sweet, crunchy crust outside and fluffy, moist cake inside -- plenty of cornmeal in the batter and cooking oil heated to a scalding 375Ëš in the fryer.
Purists enjoy snacking on these tubular steaks au naturel, but catsup and mustard stations are readily at hand for convenient dipping.
Elephant ears $5
The funny thing about elephant ears is that they don't look all that much like an elephant's ear. Square and toasted-tan, they are the twin sister of Indian fry bread -- another carnival favorite.
Basically deep-fried dough, elephant ears get their airy appearance and bubbly texture from active yeast slipped into the batter. The result is a crunchy-thin crust having a slightly sweet-and-sour finish.
To top it off -- literally -- elephant ears can be spiked with decadent toppings such as Bavarian cream or chocolate-cherry. Most folks, though, opt for the default sprinkling of cinnamon or sugar.
Candy apples $3
Something as hard and shiny as a football helmet should not be edible, but in the case of the candy apple, it is.
The coating of a candy apple is made from one part corn syrup and two parts sugar, with enough water added for blending and enough red dye for impact. The mixture is then heated into syrup and dipped with small apples on wooden sticks.
Once dry, a candy apple takes on that surreal appearance it is so famous for. In fact, custom car builders in the 1950s and '60s were so enamored with the look that they created their own candy-apple paint finishes.
Cotton candy $3
You can't get much more evil than a food made up of dye and sugar -- and lots of it. Yet cotton candy continues to be a strong seller at outdoor events.
Cotton candy is born in a revolving steel drum. Sugar is added to the center and heated to the melting point. As the sugar melts, the centrifugal force of the spinning drum squeezes the molten goo through a mesh inner cylinder, forming hairlike strands. These strands are then collected onto a paper cone twirled just inside the revolving drum.
One curious note: Being basically strands of sugar, cotton candy is fragile. This puffy confection will melt away in sunny or humid weather, so don't plan on savoring it for long.
This treat is best purchased for kids other than your own -- unless you enjoy the sound of youngsters bouncing off the walls from a sugar high.
Hawaiian shaved ice $3
Sound exotic, doesn't it? But then again, how else are you going to get people to pay three dollars for a cup of ice and splash of syrup?
Also known as a snow cone, this frosty refresher is made using the Arctic equivalent of a coffee-bean grinder. The revolving blades inside a shaved ice machine render everyday ice into a magical fluffy powder. The ice is then scooped into a colorful paper cone and squirted with flavored syrup.
To keep things exotic, syrups are offered in flavors such as green apple, piña colada and watermelon, to name a few.
Whichever carnival eat that you pick, adding up your order at the cash register is a breeze. Most carnival food is priced at either $3 or $5.
And if you should miss a treat, remember: These concessions are on wheels. Your favorite guilty pleasure may be lurking at a future outdoor event.